Vamp Time

Just when the young boys return home after working hard to get runs and wickets and catches under the hot scorching sun and just when the tired dads return from their offices, those ugly-looking, make-up filled faces of evil-minded vamps show up on television sets. The worst thing is that that they are in every possible TV serial. And the even-worse thing is that that every mom in every house watches those serials. It all starts from 7 pm and goes on till 12 am (I pretty much know all the timings by now).

Right after dinner, after cleaning up the dining table, my mom runs (almost) to her room to start that ‘idiot box’. Not that I don’t watch TV programs. It’s just that the ‘TV’ becomes ‘idiot box’ after 7pm. “Mom” I scream. “I have a test on…” And she cuts my talk by “Talk to you later, dear. My Kyunki has started.” There is this producer who has an obsession with the letter “K”. Her every serial starts with “K”. However silly the name may become; it should be o”K”.

After years of observation and detailed analysis, I come to the conclusion that
‘The number of words in the name of the serial’(n) is directly proportional to ‘the number of years for which the serial continues’(y).
From which, I derive the formula,
n α y
therefore, n = vy (where ‘v(number of vamps)’ is the constant of proportionality).

There was once a time when the names of the serials made a lot of sense and the episodes had a lot of relevance to real life. Now, these days, the quality has deteriorated to such an extent that I feel that the episodes are made first and then the name is set.

Vamps have always played an important role in serials.
Their 1^st objective: Freak the viewers out by their horrible looks and the nonsensical background music.
2^nd objective (A Universal Truth): Screw up things as badly as possible and come back to life after getting shot by the good actor. At least this is how things work here.

If given a choice, I would rather watch SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon than sit besides my mom and watch those serial actors cry after getting tricked by the “intelligent” vamps. I wonder how the producers get such brilliant ideas. I mean… just mind blowing. Look at the way the actors cry and the way the vamps make them cry. Isn’t it amazing?

What would our lives be without those serials?  After all, haven’t the soaps taught us how to be sarcastic?

My SSC Result!

After waiting for precisely 3 months, I finally got my SSC result.

I got 88.15% overall. I was expecting 85%+. I am happy. Or should I say, content. And I scored 144/150 in Mathematics. Expected 147. But… never mind. Afterall, it’s SCC.

Situation right now:

• Call 1: “Hi” say I on phone. “How much?” a general question by everyone. “88.15%”. “Congratulations!!” say they. And in hurry “Catch you later. I am getting an another call.” I say.

• Call 2(at the same time): “Hello… 88.15%.” “Congrats.” “Thanks.”

• Call 3(in the next second): “Hey… Thanks.”

• Call 4: “Thank you. Gotta go. Gaurav’s calling.”

And the ‘hello’s and the ‘hi’s go on.

Later, 4 people call me up and ask me if I could find out their result. When I try to open the site it bluntly says in a white page “The request cannot be processed at this time. The amount of traffic exceeds the Web site’s configured capacity.” Crap! Our government SSC Result sites could (or, should) apply for a Guinness World Record for the maximum number of visits in a day.

What are you waiting for? At least congratulate me. How ill mannered of you. Haha. Just joking.

Definition of “Best Friend” by an ad-boy

(click on the picture for an enlarged view)

Saw this washing machine advertisement in a newspaper this morning (without the bubble and the caption, of course). Thought it would be an interesting read.

oneword.com

Here’s a site that is a great bookmark for the writing freaks. It’s a simple site with simple user interface and simple colours. Simple! The site is all white and black with a green ‘go’ button. Neat.

When you press ‘go’, the site takes you to a page where a simple (by simple, I mean comprehensible) word is given near the header. The word is randomly given. These words are used by everyone, and almost daily. But here’s the good thing. You need to describe the word in only 60 seconds. A green bar on top of your writing space indicates the time spent.

In it’s about page, the site says
“oneword™ is a simple writing exercise.
it is not about learning new words.
nor is it about defining words.”
“The real purpose of this exercise is to alleviate
our natural tendency to edit everything—and learn
to flow.” is what it says

After writing, it allows you to go back and edit. You simply need to write your name and your email in the given space below. Later, you can go and read your own write-up and also what the others have written.

After writing, you might realize how funny a 60 second description can be. This site can even work as a stress reliever. Just go there and write what comes to your mind. No one cares. Don’t think, just write.

Click here to visit the website.

Not everyone is a poet

I could have said that my neighbour’s dog tore my poem papers, or that the papers were in my pocket and my pant went into the washing machine. But, to be frank, I have stopped writing the poem. I gave the unfinished poem to my mom to read and she said it’s too childish. My heart broke into pieces. My minutes of dedication, my minutes of perspiration all shifted to dust.

I could not overcome the shock. I could not stand her gaze. I walked out of the room. Later, I read the poem some 5 times and decided that it only belonged to the dust-bin.

In simple words, My First Poem is not coming.